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First blog post

This is the post excerpt.

Writing is therapeutic to me. It’s my safe haven, since becoming a mum i hardly have time to scribble down my thoughts, experiences,what’s bothering me etc it’s so surreal when i get views, likes comments from my posts. This is how i get through my very hard days. ..

How do you love?

“Nothing has more potential for enhancing one’s sense of well-being than effectively loving and being loved. Gary chapman

I read an interesting thread on twitter people discussing about love languages. The author of the tweet stated “i just realised how someone can do so much for you,but when they aren’t speaking directly to your love language it’s so easy to feel like it’s nothing “.

Those words have been in my thoughts since, i was taken back to the many times when it didn’t feel like it’s doing it for me, i was wrong, he was wrong. I didn’t understand how he needed to be loved neither did he understand how i needed to be loved,thinking of it now it’s our love language that’s just different. I could have come out as ungrateful or needy and he as hard headed and not understanding. Oh boy!

From his point of view, he could have meant the best for me and that would have been a very big gesture showing his love but from my own pov ,and by all means not being ungrateful that didn’t fill me up, it did nothing for my soul. And that there, when it hit me made me realize he meant well, yes its not fair for me to feel like it wasnt a big deal but it’s also not okay for me to settle for gestures that don’t do it for me.

This doesn’t only apply to relationships, with families and friends too. For instances most of our parents (and this is general) or i should say most of our African parents their love language to their kids is not word of affirmation or giving gifts or psyhical touch. By all means that is not any above. Very hard for them to tell you “i love you my child “ they would rather show you than say it’s easier for them i suppose. My parents,have shown me in so many ways how much they love me and how much i mean to them and that is enough for me. That love language from them is more than enough. For my child i use all of the 5.

Mmmh.. I have really thought about this, i have really evaluated myself on what ignites that fire in my soul, you know what i mean so when it comes to having a partner. I want act of service more that’s my ideal kinda love someone does something for me because they love me. Ugh 💕 pure bliss and what if that doesn’t do it for him am i willing to compromise? I mean we can always meet in the middle and have a common ground of how our love language should be. As long as it makes me feel like, well what’s the word I’m looking for? Good? Or like he is my personal person 😂. Insert your perfect word if you may.

So uhmm.. Do you understand the love language of those close to you? Or the better qstn would be do you dear one understand your love language? I have known mine and it’s quite insightful of the mistakes i have done in the past and how i can love better. So there you go beautiful children of God. Giveth to receive.

I sincerely hope that we all know how to love better. It would make the world a much better place. Now that we have reached this far, Here is a link i found online of a test you can do to understand your language better https://www.5lovelanguages.com/

Love and be loved better.

2!

Going down the memory lane has me feeling nostalgic.. Its been 2 years and 9 months of pure bliss. How did we get here? How have i, me who was so scared, who didn’t have a clue of how to be a mummy get to two years of raising her? Still shook about it. Ask me how she is doing at your risk, i Will tell you so many things from the words she is saying to the funny things and naughty things she does. I will talk on and on.

My little person is learning to speak.Her level of understanding is amazing, you’ll ask her to get her diaper and she brings it, after you change her ask her to dispose it, she will run to the balcon and throw it in the bin and top it off by clapping for herself for the good job. We send her little things like remotes, spoon, cup, plates etc. She knows that shoes worn outside shouldn’t be in the house including hers and must be worn when stepping out.

My best milestone late last year is when she stopped breast feeding at 1 yr 8 months and automatically begun sleeping better and throughout the night. The relief i got, weuh, man i used to get so tired. Off from work and all she wanted was b. Feed then not sleep well at night.

Raising has definitely not been easy luckly i got people around me and we do it together. She has lots of little friends she play with… The growth has been wonderful i am so proud of her. In 4 days we turn 2, I’m telling literally anyone who cares to listen.

Looking forward to many trial and errors, successful milestones,Loving hard and a beautiful family.

A open Letter to my daughter

Dear Jes,

I love you so much! At times when you’re sleeping i stay up looking at you, your beautiful face and my heart swells up with emotions that you’re all mine. You reading this means you’re know a big girl, you can read and understands the world much better.

I want you to know:

  1.  You will make mistakes, its okay, don’t panic we all do that’s what makes us human. I (mummy) have made countless mistakes some cant be corrected others can and its okay. My parents (grandpa and ma) accepted me just the way i am and so do i, you
  2. Have a voice, you don’t like something? Say it. Don’t like how someone is treating you, tell it to their faces. Don’t let anyone walk all over you, don’t give them that power.
  3. You only live once, have fun!! Want to learn swimming i will gladly pay for it, take foreign language classes, go on a road trip. Take vacays( we will visit places i promise just you and I) but be safe always and i should know where you’re and with whom😉
  4. Love, don’t be afraid to love, love me, love dad,love your grandparents, love aunties uncles and cousins, friends,neighbours. But when love becomes toxic let it go. It woun’t be the end of the world.
  5. Study, read books, comic, novels, mags read anything good and worth reading as long as decent. That little information there might be useful one day.
  6. Forgive. When i whoop you for your mistake, i’m only doing that because i love you and want you to be a good well behaved girl. Forgive those who wrong you, jesus will be happy you did. For your own piece of mind too darling.
  7. Understand and accept. Know that you cant have everything and anything you want at all times. Somethings are beyond your reach or mines. Like you cant have the moon, its pretty but you cant. Accept that this world is like that, there are people with so many things but others barely have necessities .
  8. Work hard. Depend on no man, will leave you frustrated and frail. Have your own money,be independent. Be challenging. Build houses,buy cars, glam and slay.
  9. Respect. This will take you places and God will reward you.
  10. Try new things. Eat new dishes, try new genre of music etc. You wunt regret it
  11. Regret. Agh! I haate regrets, try as much as possible to avoid this. Nothing as daunting as ‘i wish i Did this or dint do that’ .
  12. Be yourself. Dont push yourself or go out of your way to change you to accommodate someone else. If they love you, they ll want you just the way you’re meant to be.
  13. Block the  haters. Mean people, bullies,haters, selfish toxic humans. Kick them all out of your life.

* I am your number 1 cheerleader and bestie. Whatever it is you want to talk about i promise i will be open minded and be the friend you want and you can share whatever it is you have in mind.

Above all, you’re beautiful, veery beautiful my little gem, masterpiece. God says so, i say so. Dont let anyone tell you otherwise.

You’re loved. Very much. You make us so happy we even cant picture how boring and dull our lives used to be before you joined us. Little ray of sunshine, you light the room.

I love your hugs, you knew how to hug when you were 9 months. Now that you’re 1 year you are and expect. I hope we will be hug buddies till thee.

 

Lots of hugs and chums

Mummy❤❤IMG-20180327-WA0017.jpg

1

Our journey together started back in 2016 july as one. March 31st 2017. she was born.

She was so beautiful with a head full of hair her skin so light and i loved her even more. I can’t even say how much of a blessing she is to me and everyone around her. She’s storm, but perfect and beautiful storm.

Its such a blessing seeing a child develop, through all the milestones, and i keep on thinking how marvelous God is. The milestones happens so slowly as if to give us time to see it all. One day she is little and helpless then slowly she start lifting her little hands, smilling,rolls etc. Slow by slow day in day out a new thing is discovered.

Right now I’m looking at her wondering how time flies!? Just, just the other day. Now she is everywhere at the same time. Literally, everything is upside down 😂. Getting stuck in between seats and under the tables, she is even responding when you ask her for something!. Hahaha!!

Soon she will be forming full words and we can’t wait for the stories from lil story teller.

I have to say, God is truly wonderful and very mysterious.

We turned 1. Had a wonderful 🎊. Ate cake, gave gifts and loved.

Wishing my little girl many many more years to come, and life full of favor and God’s blessings.

Yummy chicken, sick tummy🤢

it’s 00:53, everyone is asleep, I’m awake. The bad taste in my mouth, bad feeling in my tummy, frequent visits, vomiting has me watching despicable m3 into late night.

After a fun wonderful Friday with the family, we went to one of Nairobi’s most famous eat out, had some chicken and fries i devoured that food like no one’s watching. Talked with the fam and generally had a great time. We all called it a night, said goodnights and we were on our way home. Waking up Saturday morning my tummy wasnt alright but i ignored it. Went on with my business until yesterday in the morning when i was woken up with a rush. You get me.

What a bad start to my day. Luckily baby was still sleeping. Laundry had to be cleaned i gathered all my mummy strength and did what i could until i was too weak to get everything done.

Anyways, it was a loong day!! Got this tablets that i feel even worse once i take them. I hope by morning i will be better. Reminds me of the last time i had food poisoning i was 6 months into my journey ate some refrigerated food somewhere and surprising I’m the only one who got sick.

ION: She is teething.. second pair of teeth popping out 🤗🤗 it’s a rollercoaster but beautiful

Readers, wish me quick recovery…

This year…

I’m not going to call it resolutions, so overrated. The following is my 2018 bucket list

  1. Be a better mom, partner, daughter, sister and friend.
  2. Graduate,
  3. Find a job
  4. Make a mat!!
  5. Own my own domain
  6. Slay, slay,slay!! namaslay sister!!! Prrrr
  7. Get em peruv or Brazilian 😜
  8. 52 weeks challenge definitely embarked
  9. Blog more with a set deadline
  10. Replace my stolen laptop (i use my phone to write) 😢
  11. Read a whole book 📖, it’s been too long
  12. Get closer and closer to God.
  13. Atleast travel to the coast (never been there before)
  14. Start and complete a DIY project
  15. Blog my 28th -31st march stor

I have faith in myself,half if not all of that list by 31st Dec i ll have completed it. Once my mind is set, it’s hard to change it.

Someone said we speak things into existence. ….

Thankful

Oh what an year!! First before anything else, i thank the lord and tell him thank you almighty. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for his mighty love and protection.

This year had a lot of blessings,

  • I was blessed with a daughter, so beautiful and a happy soul
  • Safe delivery
  • Good health
  • God’s protection
  • My family, their health and well-being
  • New family members
  • Safe journey mercies whenever i travel.

And many many more.

I don’t anything for granted, it the grace of the almighty.

Life is too short, its soo sad we are loosing people over accidents, this festive season has had so many accidents it’s chilling and really scary. Treat yourself right, do what you want most, laugh over nothing, be happy happt very happy,hold no grudges, do that thing you always put off, be strong. This life, uh, too short …

🖤🖤🖤

MY FAMILY IN LOVE

Ever since i was always so afraid of meeting my in laws, always wondering if they will like me, how will we get along? When should i talk? What should I say?. Always filled with insecurities. I never really wanted that day to come when i will have to meet them. Generally I’m a shy person, prefer my own company, i don’t do well with crowds and gathering and i would rather avoid all that.

The first time i met my first born sister in law, Ruth, it was so natural almost unbelievable! I fell in love with her instantly. She is so wonderful, caring and i love her. God bless you Ruth. You’re a blessing to many. Julliet,oh wow, she’s such a gem 💎 we used to talk on the phone alot before we met, i was so anxious filled with uncertainty. Needless to say, we connected instantly, i felt free and comfortable around her not my usual “what should i say now” or looking for any story from my mind to keep the conversation going, it just flowed and always do. I love her and she’s so wonderful God bless her beautiful heart.

I feel so blessed i have 4 big sisters in my life. My most beautiful biological big sister and my 3 sisters in love. I mean how wonderful is that, whenever i need advice i have all those sisters to run to. Knowing my biological would go to war for me. I pray that the good Lord will always bless their good hearts and their families, and my friendship with them will always be as good and strong .

My highs and lows in motherhood

The good days when it’s all sunshine and rainbows, the bad days i want to curl up in bed.

Highs

  1. Definitely when i gave birth to her
  2. Her first smile
  3. Hearing her laugh every day warms my ♥ ♥
  4. Every milestones that she achieve is a huge deal for me.
  5. When she finishes her food is a high too!! Haha
  6. Every single day she wakes up,, healthy, happy as ever
  7. Her little kisses all over my Face (not sure to call it kisses basically cleaning me up with Saliva)
  8. Soiled diaper change! Oh yes, I’m very happy when she poops
  9. Definitely the 1 hr and 30 minutes i went shopping alone. It felt so good but i missed my baby so much i practically ran home

Lows

  1. Whenever baby is unwell
  2. Dealing with a cranky baby is soo hard
  3. Exhaustion, lack of sleep
  4. The immunization injection 😥
  5. Locia that lasted 2 month

Well i bet i have many highs than lows and that’s a good thing 😊

UNPLANNED BUT WANTED

What comes to your mind when someone says “i got pregnant accidentally” girl.. did you trip and fall on a man? Unplanned is something you’re not expecting in the near future unwanted you do not want it at all, like oh no no no, got to get rid of this ASAP.

Well, my pregnancy was unplanned, my plan was to have a baby not in the near future and in the right way. The right way meaning, complete campus and graduate,get a job, mean while be dating, get engaged, marriage then baby… But everything happened the way things were going to turn out anyways, so complete school ✖️ graduate ✖️job ✔️.Yes, i worked as a secretary during one of my long holidays and after my industrial attachment.

Needless to say when i found i was expecting i was so confused and terrified, full of uncertainty. I know probably at this point you’ll ask yourself then why didn’t you use protection? It was used alright but it botched on me big time!!! FAILED in bold and capital…. was out for some fun yes, things went down how they went and she happened and honestly I’m glad it did. Cause i never knew my life was so boring and empty then i had her and she completes me wholly.

“Friends” who no longer are given the title adviced me the best thing was to terminate. I was so so very confused, but i knew that was definitely not an option. I seeked refuge in the Lord. One day as i was taking my lunch, so stressed and absent minded, a very good friend of mine, a lady whose the church is her home came to me and asked me why I’m i so stressed, i asked her how do you know I’m stressed? She said, yesterday i dreamt about you, that there’s some tough decisions you need to make in your life, and God told me to pray for you to make the right decision. I knew what i had to do, called my then boyfriend now husband and told him I’m keeping our baby! And he was supportive.

Mine was unplanned but definitely wanted. I look at her and I’m glad i made a wise decision, she will be a woman of substance and I’ll always be proud of her. Being a mother at 21 doesn’t side track all my future plans, I’m still going to fulfill each and every of them and very lucky my baby girl will be a witness to it all.

❤❤❤