Featured

First blog post

This is the post excerpt.

Advertisements

postI’m going to walk through the journey with mum’s who are about to deliver their new born all the way until where tomorrow takes us. Currently i have a 5 month old, baby girl. It’s been beautiful, it’s being terrifying . It’s all worth it. Grace of God have brought us this far, and we all are going far. 😊. Ladies i hope my posts helps in one way or another.

UNPLANNED BUT WANTED

What comes to your mind when someone says “i got pregnant accidentally” girl.. did you trip and fall on a man? Unplanned is something you’re not expecting in the near future unwanted you do not want it at all, like oh no no no, got to get rid of this ASAP.

Well, my pregnancy was unplanned, my plan was to have a baby not in the near future and in the right way. The right way meaning, complete campus and graduate,get a job, mean while be dating, get engaged, marriage then baby… But everything happened the way things were going to turn out anyways, so complete school ✖️ graduate ✖️job ✔️.Yes, i worked as a secretary during one of my long holidays and after my industrial attachment.

Needless to say when i found i was expecting i was so confused and terrified, full of uncertainty. I know probably at this point you’ll ask yourself then why didn’t you use protection? It was used alright but it botched on me big time!!! FAILED in bold and capital…. was out for some fun yes, things went down how they went and she happened and honestly I’m glad it did. Cause i never knew my life was so boring and empty then i had her and she completes me wholly.

“Friends” who no longer are given the title adviced me the best thing was to terminate. I was so so very confused, but i knew that was definitely not an option. I seeked refuge in the Lord. One day as i was taking my lunch, so stressed and absent minded, a very good friend of mine, a lady whose the church is her home came to me and asked me why I’m i so stressed, i asked her how do you know I’m stressed? She said, yesterday i dreamt about you, that there’s some tough decisions you need to make in your life, and God told me to pray for you to make the right decision. I knew what i had to do, called my then boyfriend now husband and told him I’m keeping our baby! And he was supportive.

Mine was unplanned but definitely wanted. I look at her and I’m glad i made a wise decision, she will be a woman of substance and I’ll always be proud of her. Being a mother at 21 doesn’t side track all my future plans, I’m still going to fulfill each and every of them and very lucky my baby girl will be a witness to it all.

❤❤❤

She’s 6 months already!!! ðŸ’ƒ

Unbelievable! Just the other day i thought i would die of all the pain i went through now she’s fully sitting without support, pulling herself with her stomach in an attempt to crawl. So surreal when all this milestones happen right in front of my eyes and I’m the very first person who has the privilege to notice! Isn’t God just so awesome! A baby born completely helpless fully relaying on Others slowly and slowly they learn to do things and it happens so gradually it would slip by you

Well, it hasn’t been a smooth ride either, sometimes i want to pull off my hair literally out of frustration and most times I’m completely full and so happily in love with Miss little sunshine. We begun weaning last week with porridge (familia baby weaning flour) at first she took it so well gave me so much hope but lately it’s a struggle. Tried butternut squash puree and it was rejected from the first bite. Moved swiftly to banana puree same case to the porridge, well received then later bored by it. Ripe bananas also rejected!

Is my baby a poor feeder or i should just try many other type of foods?? This kind of situation stress me up. Seems like she just wants mummy’s warm sweet milk. Anyways I’m going to keep on trying. Meanwhile I’m dealing with my own fears and anxiety of moving to a new place not knowing how my little one is going to take the change. Especially because i know she will miss her two very incredible grandparents who make her soooo happy. You should see her looking at the door every evening waiting for her grandpa to come in then she excitedly start to push herself up and down laughing and screaming with joy! Oh wow! It almost wants to make me not want to leave! I fear she will miss them soo much but we will have to go.

I’m patiently waiting for those teeth to pop out and hope that they will not give her a hard time. She is always on the move and i love it place her somewhere and she will have changed positions on her own. Do even get me started on changing her diaper which almost takes an hour to change.

As I’m waiting for her to Officially start crawling and those two teeth to pop, let me get back to change 5-6 dirty diapers a day! It means the little food I’m feeding her is satisfying her! I’m glad.

Over and out

Moms have yourself a lovely weekend of diaper changes and wipes

Over whelmed

As i write this, my eyes are swelling with tears. It gets too hard for me sometimes and i get so frustrated. Jessie is 5 months almost 6 months and she doesn’t want to be put down literally, it’s so bad i had to go to the bathroom with her one time. The moment she realizes she is alone and i have slicked away screams her little lungs out crying and crying uncontrollably.

I know i know nilimzoesha mikono but know what do i do. I wash the dishes with her sitting in her little green chair the same when I’m doing laundry. I have tried placing all her toys out for her but she is very attentive i can’t sneak myself out. Honestly it gets so frustrating esp when there is no hand to help you out and when there is she doesn’t want anything to do with them.

All i can do now is really hope she grows out of that stage soon enough… mums.. am i being too dramatic? Is there anything, anything at all i can do to help her grow out of this??

Sadly, talking to the dad about all this he thought I’m being cranky (oh yes cranky baby = crankier mum) and seeking attention from him… like really now?

I have honestly cried cause i feel like am being bad. I don’t even want to imagine what mum’s to twins and multiple birth handle it especially in situations like Jabs and teething etc…. Honestly mothers are so so strong! Some people can’t do half of the things we/they do.

While my little miss sunshine is being all cranky and feisty,flashing her beautiful toothless grin, laughing after every babbling word. Mama is draining off the energy.. real work out cause she can’t sit at one spot ( crawling is her next milestone) she is always on the move banging the head out of the toys on the table. When she falls asleep I’m like FREEDOM IS COMING!!? suddenly i have a millions of things i wanna do! Usually i end up doing a few ugh and i miss her a lot tempted to wake her up!!

I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love her too much!!

EPISIOTOMIES AND TEARS

There’s a difference in the two, episiotomy is a cut made by a doctor between your vagina and anus to assist in a difficult delivery while a tear occurs spontaneously meaning the tear has no specific order especially if the baby is big. Tears apparently are measured with degrees with the least being 1St to 5th which is rare. Thinking about this is making me cringe. I got an episiotomy, of course i was numbed before the cut (i didn’t even feel the 💉) once baby was born i was sewed up. Good thing about this stitches they dissolve on their own so you won’t have to go through the torture of dressing or being taken out.

The secret for a quick recovery is good hygiene and following your doctors instructions. I gave birth on a Friday, was discharged on a Monday and because of my obedience the wound was drying up and stitches had begun fall it (quite normal ,you shouldn’t freak out if you see then on your pants) within the 6 day after giving birth

SITZ BATH

It’s a bath wear you sit in warm salty Water to aid in fast healing of the wound and to relieve any pain and discomfort.

There are Sitz basins available in the market ranging from ksh 600 – ksh 1500 depending from who you buy from.

Here’s a sitz basin which can also fit in a toilet bowl .

I also used regular kitchen salt.

What you need

  • a basin
  • Salt
  • Warm water

I read a discussion where some women choose not to get stitches!!! I have no opinion in that, it’s your body!

I would sit in the warm salty water 3 times a day, i know it’s what lead to quick healing of the wound. It completely closed up after a month.

You should look out for excessive bleeding from it or smelling, itching it could be a sign of infection which should be treated immediately.

The only discomfort I experienced was sitting down and getting up. OH ! The first time visiting the bathroom afterwards!!! 😰🤢🤢

It gets better , always .

POSTNATAL DEPRESSION IS REAL, WE JUST AVOID TALKING ABOUT IT

Some people have long prolonged labour, it’s really depressing. Being in that painful state for a couple of days takes a lot of strength. My labour pains were induced, as you can imagine the pain was × stronger of how a natural labour would be. I laboured for 21 hours and had the worst time of my life during that period. I don’t like thinking much of that day but i remember being so powerless, not having the control of your own body and nothing can be done about the pain is pretty scary. I remember i would beg the midwife to take me to theatre and take the baby out i couldn’t handle that pain anymore and honestly i thought i would pass out or die 😐.

Events following a difficult birth can be traumatic, traumatic because of the events you went through, harassment of the doctors and nurses, if maybe you got tired and had an assisted birth. Or… sadly if the birth didn’t go as you expected. Some are beyond our control. All this can lead to emotional trauma. There is no shame in speaking out when you feel troubled deep in your heart.

If the problem is left unsolved for a long time it could lead to PTSD (POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER) which wouldn’t be good for you and your bundle of joy.

In my opinion a few signs you should look out for:

  • Fear of giving birth in the future
  • Having a low self esteem and hating your body
  • Having problems with your partner which probably started after giving birth.
  • Lack of interest in intimacy or any physical contact
  • Having constant flashbacks of the events of the birth.
  • Not bonding with your baby hence guilt
  • Crying and breaking down for no apparent reason
  • Keeping to yourself, not to want to associate with others.

You could have PTSD if you have most if not all of the signs. Not necessarily, I’m not a doctor, just pointing out a few from people’s testimonies.

The most dangerous of them all is, when a mother feels a lot of hatred for the baby or feels there is no bond at all. It’s most likely due to an estranged baby daddy ( dead beats) or your baby is not what you expected meaning if he/she is disabled or different from the others or you wanted a baby boy but the almighty blessed you with a sweet baby girl and vice versa. Either way, you should always remember a baby is a gift, a hefty blessing, no matter how he/she comes you should love it with every cell of your body. Some women can hence treat the child badly like beating an infant, shouting and screaming at it. In case of such, immediate assistance should be given to the mum before harm is caused.

It’s quite normal to feel scared after you have delivered, but that fear subsides with time as you get used to being a mum. I know that cause i was afraid of even holding her, but i pulled my big girls pants and over came it all. Seek help if you feel it’s more than just the normal fear, it will benefit you and the baby. Otherwise, sweet mama, all will be just fine.

You’re really very strong.

BONUS: IF YOUR LITTLE ONE IS CRYING UNCONTROLLABLY AND IS INCONSOLABLE AND YOU FEEL FRUSTRATED YOU CAN GIVE HIM/HER TO SOMEONE ELSE OR IF THERE IS NOBODY THERE WITH YOU, YOU CAN PLACE YOUR BABY SOMEWHERE SAFE, STEP UP, CATCH A BREATH, CALM DOWN THEN GO BACK AND ATTEND YOUR CHILD.

WHAT’S IN YOUR BAG?

No one really knows when your adorable bundle of joy will be vacating their not so comfortable any more home. Labour pains can begin any where any time good thing is they give signs so you can get ready and head to the hospital. Other labour pains need some nudging that is induction of labour. Which i personally went through…and 😶wow!! I had an experience have never forgotten!! Anyways, my business here is to remind you pretty ladies what and what to pack in your bags. HAVE YOUR BAGS PACKED AS EARLY AS THE 8TH MONTH.

For the mother:

  1. Your antenatal clinic book
  2. Your ID, insurance Card, Cash or cheque
  3. Your changing clothes after discharge
  4. Slippers
  5. Toiletries (if the hospital doesn’t provide)
  6. Comfortable nursing bras or regular bras along with breast pads. When your LO suckles your milk production may increase, your breast becoming tender and swollen leading to leakage of milk.
  7. Comfortable maternity pants
  8. Sanitary towels. You will bleed after delivery, whether C-section or vagina delivery.

Your cellphone and a charger ! To keep your family and friends updated. 😊

For the baby:

  1. Your baby’s outfit of your choice. -onesis 2× or long pants 2×, -T-shirt 2× – vests 2× – Mitten’s – hats – socks – sweaters – Bibs ( read baby feeder)
  2. Diapers – new born sizes
  3. Towel
  4. Receiving blanket, shawls and wrappers.
  5. Cotton wool for umbilicus
  6. Baby wipes.

Ps: on what to clean the umbilical cord with ask your doctor, every hospital has what they use .

Well, my beautiful ladies that would be it for today. All the best in your delivery, may you have a safe and a Hebrew birth!

ALL THE VERY BEST AND GOOD LUCK, GOD BE WITH YOU.

leave comments, and on what topic to touch on next time