“Nothing has more potential for enhancing one’s sense of well-being than effectively loving and being loved. – Gary chapman
I read an interesting thread on twitter people discussing about love languages. The author of the tweet stated “i just realised how someone can do so much for you,but when they aren’t speaking directly to your love language it’s so easy to feel like it’s nothing “.
Those words have been in my thoughts since, i was taken back to the many times when it didn’t feel like it’s doing it for me, i was wrong, he was wrong. I didn’t understand how he needed to be loved neither did he understand how i needed to be loved,thinking of it now it’s our love language that’s just different. I could have come out as ungrateful or needy and he as hard headed and not understanding. Oh boy!
From his point of view, he could have meant the best for me and that would have been a very big gesture showing his love but from my own pov ,and by all means not being ungrateful that didn’t fill me up, it did nothing for my soul. And that there, when it hit me made me realize he meant well, yes its not fair for me to feel like it wasnt a big deal but it’s also not okay for me to settle for gestures that don’t do it for me.
This doesn’t only apply to relationships, with families and friends too. For instances most of our parents (and this is general) or i should say most of our African parents their love language to their kids is not word of affirmation or giving gifts or psyhical touch. By all means that is not any above. Very hard for them to tell you “i love you my child “ they would rather show you than say it’s easier for them i suppose. My parents,have shown me in so many ways how much they love me and how much i mean to them and that is enough for me. That love language from them is more than enough. For my child i use all of the 5.
Mmmh.. I have really thought about this, i have really evaluated myself on what ignites that fire in my soul, you know what i mean so when it comes to having a partner. I want act of service more that’s my ideal kinda love someone does something for me because they love me. Ugh 💕 pure bliss and what if that doesn’t do it for him am i willing to compromise? I mean we can always meet in the middle and have a common ground of how our love language should be. As long as it makes me feel like, well what’s the word I’m looking for? Good? Or like he is my personal person 😂. Insert your perfect word if you may.
So uhmm.. Do you understand the love language of those close to you? Or the better qstn would be do you dear one understand your love language? I have known mine and it’s quite insightful of the mistakes i have done in the past and how i can love better. So there you go beautiful children of God. Giveth to receive.
I sincerely hope that we all know how to love better. It would make the world a much better place. Now that we have reached this far, Here is a link i found online of a test you can do to understand your language better https://www.5lovelanguages.com/
Love and be loved better.