Some people have long prolonged labour, it’s really depressing. Being in that painful state for a couple of days takes a lot of strength. My labour pains were induced, as you can imagine the pain was × stronger of how a natural labour would be. I laboured for 21 hours and had the worst time of my life during that period. I don’t like thinking much of that day but i remember being so powerless, not having the control of your own body and nothing can be done about the pain is pretty scary. I remember i would beg the midwife to take me to theatre and take the baby out i couldn’t handle that pain anymore and honestly i thought i would pass out or die 😐.
Events following a difficult birth can be traumatic, traumatic because of the events you went through, harassment of the doctors and nurses, if maybe you got tired and had an assisted birth. Or… sadly if the birth didn’t go as you expected. Some are beyond our control. All this can lead to emotional trauma. There is no shame in speaking out when you feel troubled deep in your heart.
If the problem is left unsolved for a long time it could lead to PTSD (POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER) which wouldn’t be good for you and your bundle of joy.
In my opinion a few signs you should look out for:
- Fear of giving birth in the future
- Having a low self esteem and hating your body
- Having problems with your partner which probably started after giving birth.
- Lack of interest in intimacy or any physical contact
- Having constant flashbacks of the events of the birth.
- Not bonding with your baby hence guilt
- Crying and breaking down for no apparent reason
- Keeping to yourself, not to want to associate with others.
You could have PTSD if you have most if not all of the signs. Not necessarily, I’m not a doctor, just pointing out a few from people’s testimonies.
The most dangerous of them all is, when a mother feels a lot of hatred for the baby or feels there is no bond at all. It’s most likely due to an estranged baby daddy ( dead beats) or your baby is not what you expected meaning if he/she is disabled or different from the others or you wanted a baby boy but the almighty blessed you with a sweet baby girl and vice versa. Either way, you should always remember a baby is a gift, a hefty blessing, no matter how he/she comes you should love it with every cell of your body. Some women can hence treat the child badly like beating an infant, shouting and screaming at it. In case of such, immediate assistance should be given to the mum before harm is caused.
It’s quite normal to feel scared after you have delivered, but that fear subsides with time as you get used to being a mum. I know that cause i was afraid of even holding her, but i pulled my big girls pants and over came it all. Seek help if you feel it’s more than just the normal fear, it will benefit you and the baby. Otherwise, sweet mama, all will be just fine.
You’re really very strong.
BONUS: IF YOUR LITTLE ONE IS CRYING UNCONTROLLABLY AND IS INCONSOLABLE AND YOU FEEL FRUSTRATED YOU CAN GIVE HIM/HER TO SOMEONE ELSE OR IF THERE IS NOBODY THERE WITH YOU, YOU CAN PLACE YOUR BABY SOMEWHERE SAFE, STEP UP, CATCH A BREATH, CALM DOWN THEN GO BACK AND ATTEND YOUR CHILD.